“A girl was sold and was forced into the boiling hot strokes of agony to be ripped apart by the flames of lust. Everyday, she held the bars of small window and peeked outside imagining the world outside. One day, she dared and took off from that cage. Determined, she convinced herself that there was something beyond these dingy four walls. She pushed herself with every falling day towards this ‘beautiful life’. Today, into this chapter, her pen now scribbles a note to her life, as it was, as it is and as it will be.”
July 11, 2017 1:45 A.M
Lying lifeless in that bed, I was butchered every night. My soul was handed to me bit by bit after being devoured on by a beast. I could hardly move and peek out of the small window that overlooked the sea.
But that day, I decided to move my legs away from all that filth. I could not longer be a toy for a random guy to please. Picking up the last bit of strength that was left in me, I took the leap out of that window, breaking the bars holding me all this while.The bruises from such a leap were nothing compared to the ones that he’d given me. That YOU had given me.
Regardless, I forgive you, I forgive you because in your new chapter, you showed me a way and brought me to where we both stand today – out of the grey shades of that room which boasted of a bed and hungry monster.
As my new life starts, with a small room, a new bed and with a few pleasantries around, I look for a life; a limited one but beautiful as it should have always been. Here, I am the master of my passions. I am the passing seconds between breaths, someone who is always at the back of your mind. I am a person who forces rawness and embraces truthfulness. I verbalise all thoughts and say how I REALLY feel. I’m the thunderstorm, the rain and the blinding light of this bright yellow sun. A perfect concoction of emotive imperfections, I am a vibrant script with the most inconclusive personification.
Here, I’m what I always wanted to be. This room is not just four walls with a roof on the top, but it’s the world I always wished for me.
And now, when I have stood up, I’ll not let the past to come in my way and let you win. I am not giving up the hope of talking to the shy lies that reek of old memories. I won’t be giving up on the pleasure that I feel sitting at the window pane and staring down at the bright lights of this haunting city. I will take a stroll down that park and not fear hungry eyes following me. I will wear what I please, put on makeup and throw on the most fragrant perfume, and not tolerate being called a slut. You, you with your turns and never ending stop signs WILL NOT prevent me from dancing in the rain at the middle of the night. I will earn my happiness and blow it all up on my smile, and you will not judge me. You don’t have the right to annoy me with your overdue bills, and we will settle scores. And this time, as I please.
In this world, in this small room, on this bed, I will look for LOVE again and bury the memories that haunt me of the butcher. I will sway to the tunes of a kind soul who’ll respect the sensitivity of my skin, value my words, and embrace my beauty as it should have always been.
A Free Soul.
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