I’m A Sack Of Desires

Yeah, you heard me right. I’m a sack of desires, a bundle of wants. Everyday, a gale of wishes rise in me and sweep away all the rationality with its roaring tides. I’m not ashamed to accept that an incessant hunger for ‘more’ keeps pushing me to delve in the deepest cores to unearth ‘Precious’, which could only be mine – ‘My Precious’.

Like Gollum says, we wants it, we needs it, we must have the ‘Precious’.

Let’s all face the truth, we are living a single ‘LIFE’. Our endeavors to make it ‘GRAND’ never come to rest. Tell me honestly, how many of us are actually living the life  we dream of every single day. A life of peace and satisfaction, joy and contentment, and not an ideal one – brimmed with all the happiness of this world, incomparable leisure at our disposal, and immeasurable fancies for a lifetime. You can see no one. Not  one is living  how he wants to, not even close.

“I know, I know, my words might not be harmonizing with quite a few. But, I believe, we all have failed in living the life, we all dream of”.

I have troubled my life by doing one thing – good or bad, I can’t say – but certainly, I’m  chasing my desires. A craving to fulfill them has made me a part of a non terminating expedition – journey full of  countless roads ahead, and I want to walk them down, all at once. My mind is inquisitive and this world is boundless. It has so much to offer, so many premium bounties are out there which can be mine, then what’s wrong in wanting them? Why should I let this impulse die in me without even trying to procure them, for even once?

By profession, I’m an engineer but I desire to be a painter and a writer. Since childhood, I always cherished both and wanted to pursue, but neither then nor now, anybody seems to assent, rather says “it’s not a right path to tread”. Everybody expects me to focus on one thing i.e. Engineering – dream it, breathe it. They believe, world is full of fascinations and temptations which will charm me for few days and torment me in the long run, so it’s futile to run after them. But, I disagree here. If this world is enchanting then it’s my job to witness it all. Why should I lead an ascetic life when being desirous makes it colorful? Why should I abstain myself from savoring the taste of a vivid existence, when I know I’m living once ? I choose to be desirous flesh than being an austere living body.  

I don’t understand, why do people impugn me when my desires bother none, but me”.

For me, a person without desires doesn’t even exist. It seems, he has attained salvation and has accepted life as it comes and is not trying to scribble one of his own, or he has sold his soul to the drudgery and succumbed to despair, or ,maybe, he is satisfied with whatever he has and doesn’t feel the need to win anymore.

“I know, food, shelter, and clothes are our need, and if you have them all, you need nothing else”

But, we are much more than our needs – to become something greater than yourself – a healthy body, a sole purpose, and a big goal won’t be much to ask. All the nuisance, judgments around it stand nowhere. Your desires are authentic. Let people scorn you for having desires because for you, it’s not wrong.

According to me, I’m not ruining my life by running behind desires just because it’s a never-ending trail and will probably end with my end,  but at least I tried. I’m not losing anything other than my peace of mind, but it’s worth losing now then regretting later, when I’ll be left with only my needs. See, I’m not desiring to abuse somebody or run over someone – something which might hurt, and is not rational in any book of the world. I firmly believe, to have desires is perfectly normal and should not be frowned upon. Let them brew inside of you, as long as the the source and intentions are right.

“I will keep wanting for more and more, unabashed, because

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